The First Steps Towards Healing After an Affair
Can you forgive your partner after an affair? Cheating is one of the most heartbreaking, trust-shattering actions anyone can do in a relationship. While some people are immediately ready to leave after they discover their partner was unfaithful, others are still in love with the person and want to try and heal their relationship.
At Foundations Family Counseling, we don’t judge anyone who wants to stay in a relationship with their partner. We believe that two people who are genuinely committed to loving and supporting each other can recover with the right help, and that it’s always at least worth trying if you are both on board.
If you are in the process of healing from an affair, here are some of the first things you should do.
Forgive Yourself
The person who has been cheated on often wrestles with terrible guilt and shame over their partner’s actions. Finding out the person you love has been unfaithful can also destroy your self-esteem and leave you wondering why you just weren’t good enough for them. Understand that your partner’s decision to be unfaithful was theirs entirely; you are not responsible for their actions, and they should not blame you for their choice.
If you are the one who has been unfaithful, then it’s important to be accountable for the impact your affair had on your partner. While you may feel like they did or didn’t do things that ultimately led you to be unfaithful, you cannot forfeit responsibility. Forgiveness for the one affected is crucial to rebuilding a sense of self-esteem and worth in the relationship.
Don’t Pretend It Didn’t Happen
Some couples think that once infidelity has been uncovered, they can move forward and just try to go back to the way things were before. This dismisses the impact of the affair on both people and ignores the underlying problems that may have contributed to it in the first place. Both partners need to recognize the weight of the situation and give each other space as needed. The affair will impact you both in different ways, and it’s important to be accepting of all the emotions that will come up over the coming weeks and months.
Work With a Therapist Alone and Together
Individual counseling can help each person in the relationship address personal issues that negatively affect their relationship. Couples counseling, on the other hand, helps you work together as a pair to overcome the affair, heal your wounds and begin to build a healthier foundation to move forward. It does not guarantee that your relationship will be mended, however. In some cases, couples therapy at least gives individuals the space and closure they need to move on in a healthy way.
We understand that this is an extremely difficult and sensitive issue. Our virtual therapy sessions are here to help you anytime; we are also always available to answer questions you may have about therapy and how it works. Contact Foundations Family Counseling today to schedule an appointment or learn more about our services.
