Join Amanda Hildebrant’s New Group!
Once we notice… it’s hard not to hear those around us share their beliefs about relationships. They are common. And the stories get louder. As a therapist and coach, I hear comments like, “I tend to give more than I get in relationships,” or, “If I wasn’t maintaining this friendship, I would spend my time alone,” or, “I can be around other people, but I still have an ongoing sense of loneliness.” In terms of romantic relationships, I often hear things like, “I missed the opportunity to find the right partner,” or, “My relationship feels stuck and I don’t see a way of changing the dynamic we share.” The side effects of living this way can include holding onto feelings of resentment, chronic irritation, or no energy to do what we really want. Poor quality relationships leave us feeling disconnected, and we might have a tendency towards isolating or filling our calendar with meaningless activities out of obligation to fill the void. Sometimes I see clients who struggle with bigger issues, as well. Issues where their relationship experiences have caused more troublesome dynamics and it becomes obvious that it is the right time to seek therapeutic support.
But we can’t stop there! After we do the brave work of naming patterns, we can start to see a trend. Once we are courageous enough to realize that these experiences show up in some form or fashion in all sorts of interactions… we can realize that the common denominator is us!
What then? The next steps are even more bold and amazing. I’ve been honored to see it happen over and over. I’ve witnessed clients who walk in the door feeling unsatisfied in their day-to-day life, only to learn that it’s possible to transform and begin to take responsibility for creating their desired changes.
Can I give you a sneak peek into what it takes? We must do the hard work of looking at patterns, while also being open to taking responsibility for the fact that the static variable in each of these relationship equations happens to be us! Then we must be ready to dig deep into understanding the early life experiences that set the stage for our way of doing relationships. From this new place of awareness, we can begin to work through tools and interventions to quickly change our experience in relationships. We work to create and set boundaries with those around us. We keep our self-worth intact as we interact with others, so we no longer have to spend sleepless nights wondering, “What is wrong with me?” We learn to manage the powerful emotion of shame by understanding its gifts! And we learn to limit the effects of toxic shame. We become more fully alive in our bodies and learn to be in tune with ourselves. We identify ways to settle our bodies as needed to manage stress and emotional experiences when relating to others. We also learn the practice of sharing our own thoughts and our internal reality with other people, so we can finally invite truth into our conversations with those who we are most connected with.
This journey I travel with clients is forged by deeply committing to helping those around me have better relationships! Knowing what it’s like to move from deep relationship wounds to cultivating strong friendships, supportive work relationships, powerful interactions with clients, and a healthy romantic partnership has informed and encouraged in me deep passion for this work.
Do these words or ideas resonate with you? Do you want to commit to a deeper journey to love and be loved and to feel connected and give connection to those around you? If so, I invite you to learn more about this 12 week group. We will meet each week to discuss and integrate a vast amount of vital content consisting of 12 modules of video lessons, as well as a corresponding workbook, to provide thought provoking writing prompts to facilitate exponential growth! I so look forward to helping you unlock your healthiest relationships on your terms.