How to Keep Your Marriage Strong During Quarantine
Since everyone is cooped up in the house with one another, there’s no choice regarding who you’ll spend time with. Even when you’re absolutely in love with your spouse, this quarantine period will test that love. If you add kids, bills and the concern of COVID-19, things can get pretty out of control and scary. However, you and your spouse shared vows on your wedding day. “For better or worse” means that there will be good times and bad times. A global pandemic definitely counts as one of the worst times. Still, there are ways to keep your marriage strong during this time. Consider some of the following tips.
In many cases, people make a lot of assumptions. As a result, it’s easy to experience a lot of misunderstandings, pent-up frustrations and hurt feelings. Instead of assuming that someone knows exactly what you mean, it’s best to work on articulating exactly what you want and how you feel. It’s also wise to learn the art of tact. In most cases, it’s really not about what you say. Instead, it’s really about how you say it. As you two work on your communication with one another, your marriage will become stronger. Don’t forget that a large percentage of communication is non-verbal.
Schedule Time Apart
There’s a reason why so many people say that “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” When you two can create time apart, this can help energize you further. Even if the two of you live in a small apartment, you can both decide to spend the day on different ends of the apartment. If one person spends a lot of time in the bedroom, the other can spend a lot of time in the living room. By the end of the day, you two can come together to feel recharged and energized to spend time together again. When you two are both working from home, it might be great to maintain two different spaces where each person works. Not only does this allow you both to concentrate on your work, but it allows you to have consistent time apart.
Arguments are unavoidable. You two will experience them. While they might not be daily or weekly arguments, they will pop up. Before the issue arises, it’s wise to maintain a few code words. Those code words will signify that one of you is too upset to continue. You need to take a break from discussing the issue, calm down and revisit the issue later. This might seem trivial. However, it’s an excellent way to avoid saying things you might regret later. This is a great tactic to use whether or not you are quarantined together. This can also prevent you from exploding in front of your children and will give you the ability to discuss things calmly later.
If there have been some really bad infractions within the marriage, being together a lot might make those emotions resurface. As those feelings come back up, one spouse might be suffering in silence. Instead of suffering, it’s important to unveil the hurt, talk about it and find ways to heal. This isn’t an easy process. That’s why it’s wise to call in professional reinforcements. If you two are working through infidelity, call an infidelity therapist or marriage counselor. Therapy is still available via teleconferencing sessions or other tech-savvy resources. Don’t wait until the quarantine is over to get the help you two need.
If you don’t already know your partner’s love language, there’s no time like the present. Take time to learn each other’s love language. When you learn each other’s love language, find ways to intentionally express love every single day. If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, create a list of sweet gifts you’ll surprise them with. This doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. You can bake their favorite dessert, and give it to them as a gift. You can order a new book for their enjoyment during this time. You two can even challenge each other to see who can outdo the other in expressing love. This is one of the best ways to connect and keep the love flowing.
Though it can be really challenging, your marriage is worth the extra effort. When you’re intentional about developing your marriage into a thriving one, you two can actually experience your own form of “happily ever after” bliss. However, it takes both of you to make it work. There might be a few days when you don’t feel like working on your marriage. Some days, your spouse might not feel like it either. However, if you both work past your feelings in order to achieve the greater good, you’ll be able to keep your marriage strong as you two come out of the quarantine.