5 Secrets for the First 5 Years of Marriage
The first five years of marriage can be some of the most exciting and challenging for a newlywed couple. No matter how long you and your spouse dated before you wed, being a married couple feels different in many ways. You’ll find plenty of joy during these early years, but you can also experience some harsh realities now that the butterflies in your stomach have thoroughly settled.
To help you and your spouse get the most out of your first five years of marriage, here are five tips to help you look after your relationship.
Don’t Rush Big Life Changes
Some couples feel pressured to buy a house, settle down and start a family right away, but you don’t have to live by anyone’s timeline. Do what you’re both comfortable with, and take things at your own pace. If having children is part of your future plans but you aren’t sure if you’re ready yet, why not try raising a pet together first? It can be a good stepping stone that allows you to both juggle responsibility and learn how well you can work together.
Share Your Lives
It can be hard sometimes to come home and answer, “How was your day?” when you just want to relax. Rather than mumbling “fine” and plopping down on the couch, make it a priority to share the ins and outs of your day with your spouse. Eat dinner together without any cell phones or staring wordlessly at the television. Wash dishes equally. Go shopping together. Keep your relationship balanced as much as possible even if one person is more domestically inclined than the other.
Keep Your Friendships
One of the secrets to a strong marraige is social support. Many men and women stop associating with their friends when they get married and solely rely on one another for companionship. While your spouse will undoubtedly be the closest person to you, you both need the support and connection of other people, too.
Keep Your Boundaries
It’s not uncommon for married couples to lower their boundaries and develop tolerance for a lot of unhelpful behaviors. Resentment, distance and disconnect brew when you stop standing up for yourself, avoid accountability and allow your partner to get away with things that you really aren’t okay with. Make sure that you both continually respect one another’s time, attention and presence. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together; your partner should always take your feelings into account and avoid doing things that they know will hurt you.
Go to Therapy if You Need It
Couples counseling isn’t a “last hope” or final resort before separation, though many couples unfortunately delay getting help until they’re hanging on by a thread. Therapy is actually a versatile tool that can be used to help newlyweds and long-time lovebirds build stronger relationships. As soon as you notice undesirable patterns or habits emerging in your marriage, it’s a good idea to reach out to a professional and work through it together.
Marriage counseling can also give you strategies that help you maintain intimacy and manage conflict. When you both feel equipped to deal with any changes that come your way, you’ll be less likely to lash out or turn against each other.
Contact us to book your couples counseling session in Denver, Boulder, and Littleton, Colorado today. Feel free to also reach out with any questions you have about our philosophy, therapy and the counseling process.